3 Keys to Building Self-Discipline

3 Keys to Building Self-Discipline

When we think of someone who’s self-disciplined, we think of athletes like Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps, who trained seven days a week, 365 days a year from age 14 through the Beijing Olympics in 2008.

He did it every day no matter what.

We think of NBA legend Kobe Bryant, who would show up to the gym to practice at 5 a.m. in high school and would make his teammates in high school stay after practice to play one-on-one games with him up to 100 points.

We also think of people who always eat well, always work out no matter what and seem to always do the right thing.

So how on earth do you develop self-discipline so you stay consistent with your workouts no matter what, make solid dietary decisions day-after-day and get enough rest and recovery to perform at a high level?

Don’t rely on willpower to avoid unhealthy foods or avoid drinking alcohol.

People who have seemingly the most willpower rarely use it.

Let’s repeat that:

People who have the most willpower rarely use their willpower.

They avoid putting themselves in tempting situations in the first place.

Willpower is a finite resource. You have only so much of it.

For example, if you want to stop drinking so much alcohol, get it out of the house or make it difficult to access.

Also, minimize the number of social situations you’re in that involve alcohol.

For example, have a rule for yourself that you go to bars or restaurants only once per week.

Then, if someone invites you somewhere tempting another time during the week, you decline the invitation.

Identify your triggers.

Who are you around when you tend to slip up? Where are you?

Recently, I decided I’m the type of person who’s present when I’m with my family.

I realized one of my triggers was scrolling on my phone when I was sitting on the couch with my wife and son.

So I made a rule for myself I leave my phone on the kitchen table or counter and not even take my phone over to the couch in the first place.

Now, if I want to check my phone, I need to walk all the way over to the kitchen table or counter. Even though I could take 10 steps and get to my phone, I made it more difficult for myself to access it. Thus, I’m less likely to scroll on my phone because it’s not within my reach when I’m sitting on the couch.

Another way to prime your environment is keeping positive people in your life and removing/limiting negative influences.

For example, I have a rule that I must listen to some sort of inspirational/motivational audio once I walk downstairs after getting up for the day.

Even though I’m not with disciplined people in the physical sense, I’m “hanging out” with disciplined people through the podcasts or YouTube videos to which I listen.

Don’t allow negative influences to even enter your space. If you do, you’ll be more likely to give into temptation.

If you have friends who tempt you to drink alcohol and you’ve decided you’re the type of person who drinks alcohol only once per week, set a rule you can hang around those friends only once per week.

Remove the temptations. Replace them with positive influences. Change your level of self-discipline.

Building self-discipline doesn’t happen over night.

Always make changes in a slow and steady manner.

One of the biggest mistakes people make is employing drastic measures to create self-discipline.

Going from drinking alcohol four times per week to cutting it out completely is a recipe for disaster.

Going from eating grains and dairy every day to cutting grains and dairy out completely isn’t an optimal way to make a sustainable change.

The all-or-nothing approach rarely works.

Think of the last time you set a lofty New Year’s Resolution. You may have said something like you’re going to cut out all sugar, give up drinking or workout seven days per week.

Chances are those habits lasted only so long because you went from one extreme to the other.

When something seems difficult to follow, you’re going to have a challenging time sustaining it.

However, when something seems easy to follow, you’re probably going to continue to do it.

For example, if your goal is to eat healthier, instead of cutting out an entire food group, think of one easy thing you can “add in” to your regimen.

Instead of cutting out “all sugary carbs,” you can add a fistful of vegetables with each meal.

Now, instead of focusing on what you can’t have, you’re focusing on what you can have.

As a result of adding vegetables to each meal, you’re likely going to reduce the amount of sugary carbs you have because the vegetables will fill you up and have higher-quality nutrients.

Adding a fistful of vegetables to each meal is easy, while cutting out all sugar carbs is hard.

By creating small wins for yourself each day through focusing on the easy habits, you’re going to believe you’re a self-disciplined person over time.

We’re not talking about goals.

Instead, we’re talking about standards.

Decide the type of person you want to be.

Are you the type of person who’s present when you’re with your family?

Are you the type of person who trains hard in the gym?

Are you the type of person who doesn’t drink alcohol?

When you change the type of person with whom you identify, you create a whole new level of discipline.

Because once you decide you’re a certain type of person, you won’t choose habits that go against your identity.

For example, I don’t drink alcohol.

So when I’m in a social setting, I’m not even tempted by alcohol because I’ve already set a rule for myself I don’t drink alcohol.

What’s your list of standards for yourself?

Do you work out three days per week no matter what?

Do you plan ahead for the week every Sunday morning?

Do you eat vegetables with each meal?

Here’s an action step for you – identify five standards you already have for yourself.

For example, are you the type of parent who attends your child’s sports events?

Do you always watch only one episode on Netflix at night?

Then, pick one more standard for yourself around the new identity you’ve formed for yourself.

Once you’ve set a personal rule and identified why it’s important to you, you make change and building self-discipline much easier.